Open me – at your own risk!

Open me.

Open me.

Open me.

My patience is waning children…Beware!

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Filed under X Weekly LP's 09

0 Responses to Open me – at your own risk!

  1. RACHEL STEWART 3rd hr


    you would think that something that could turn people away from the internet and television to, instead, reading a piece of literature would be a GREAT thing, but NOOOO WAY!

    everyone’s a hater, haters.


  2. .charity.

    I am in. Just say the word.

  3. .charity.

    I love the Vampires for dummies. Nice touch Mr. Wood. They should show Dracula at the harbor. That would be soooo cool.

  4. Edward Cullen

    Mr. Wood,

    One must not forget that all of the things above are based on the assumption that the mythology is real… which it isn’t.

    However, if there were vampires alive today (which there are not) don’t you think they benefit from the silly misconceptions of their true existence? Trust me… the lies make it easier for them to exist… (even though they don’t)

    On a more literal note, you are obviously insane and your near god-worship of Dracula is scaring me… just one favor… keep the dead lambs out of the classroom.


    Dear Mr. Cullen

    You obviously feel threatened by the truth. There are medications for that, and group therapy as well. To assume that vampires do not exist is naive. Since they are the undead and travel in their own circles, my guess is that you are taking your advice from others who have no real knowledge of which they speak. Trust me, vampires have existed for ages. As for your newly found literary obsession, this Melrose Place Oprah Winfreyesque “vampire lite” reading, it serves only to disparage what is truly a rich tradition stretching back centuries and across continents. Please Mr. Cullen, do not confuse your primitive reading skills with the truth. It is my hope that you have not angered those now sleeping in coffins so much so that you too become a victim of a “silly misconception.”

    Make sure to hang the garlic tonight.

    Mr. Wood

  5. J. Bird

    Dear, Mr Wood.

    Twilight is the best book in the world. And vampires are so real, it’s almost scary. In fact, it would be scary if it weren’t so cool. And I think that your sights are not very good ones because everyone knows that vampires don’t sleep.


  6. crystal davis

    Ok Mr. Wood in some ways you are right but you have to understand that this is a new generation and new ideas are always taken in. I always thought you were for free speech and don’t you think that a new and improved story of vampires fits free speech. I use to be a vampire freak I use to dream of being a vampire as crazy as that sounds. I got that from reading Anne Rice novels. Don’t know if you heard anything about Anne Rice but twilight is not the only story that changes how vampires are looked at. In one of
    Anne’s books “The Vampire Lestat” Lestat joins a rock band. Also in many other of her books many different things about vampires come out. Like were they come from and different things they do. Anne Rice has been around for along time and you never said nothing about her books and they are nothing like Dracula’s stories. Yes grated they do dirk blood but in her book they not only drink human blood but rat’s blood to. They do that because they feel for the people because they use to be living people. Also when they get so old they like turn to rock and don’t have to drink blood. Dracula is not the only created story of vampires. Besides you really should be happy that such a small thing has affected so many teen aged people. For once we are not sitting on the couch watching TV and drooling in a bucket we are sitting on our couch expanding our minds to new ideas by reading. Free speech baby…
    I haven’t read the books yet but as soon as the library gets them returned I will join the crowd and read some one else’s idea and think “hay free speech”

  7. Bella Swan

    So, just curious, how many vampire’s have you actually encountered? If you give me a number, I will give you a valid number to a very good psychologist, and i’m sure you’ll be taking those medications you spoke of to Edward Cullen. I totally agree with Edward, the love of my life, that the misconseptions of vamires are there to make life easier for them. Imagine if all of those “rules” were true, vampires could easily be found and killed, and the species would not exist today. It’s quite obvious that you believe these myths, and for that i’m terribly sorry. Hopefully one day you will open your eyes and become awake to the fact that you are WRONG, and the correct answer is staring you in the face.

    And by the way, on that “vampires for dummies” that you posted, it says that vampires must survive on living blood, not human blood. furthermore, it’s very much possible for Edward and the Cullens to suvive on animal blood.

  8. Alice Cullen

    Mr. Wood

    You’re facts on vampires are SOOOO NOT TRUE. Most of the facts you listed are really myths. Do you really know what you’re talking about? Maybe you shouldn’t be a hater just because our books are popular.

    Hey, here’s an idea read our books and then you can be cool too. Well, maybe not, but you at least know what is really true about vampires.

    Not all vampires are bad. There are those who drink human blood, but us Cullens do not. We don’t want that on our conscious. Besides we can live off of animal blood. We can also be seen in a mirror, and we can go out in sunlight, we just sparkle.

    So, until you get your facts strait don’t put Twilight down. It’s a great book, the best book, and it has great morals. Hey, maybe you could learn something from it.

    Again, STOP being a HATER!

    Alice Cullen

  9. Alice Cullen

    Nice work Bella Swan and Edward!

    This Mr. Wood guy really doesn”t know what’s true and what just in his head. Nice comment on the vampires for dummies.

    Hey, this guy should really get some help. All us vampires are really NOT like Dracula. As you mentioned Bella we can really survive on just living animals blood.

    Alice Cullen

  10. Alice Cullen

    Mr. Wood

    First of all, don’t tell my brother that he needs medication or group therapy. No ones puts my brother down. Sorry I didn’t say this first Edward.

    There are no misconceptions to who/what we are.

    Stop being so naïve about us Cullens. Maybe you’re the one that needs medication of group therapy.

    Better yet, you should just face the truth to what vampires are really like.

    Alice Cullen

  11. Bella Swan

    Amen Alice,


  12. RACHEL STEWART 3rd hr

    pretty sad when Dracula can’t even spell his own name.

  13. Jacob Black

    Mr. Wood,

    Dude, you seriously need to get you head checked.

    Even I, Jacob Black, Ephraim’s heir, and true Alpha, do not deny the way of life of vampires, such as the Cullen’s live.

    Werewolves were put on this planet to fight vampires, they have always been the enemy of our packs. For centuries we lived believing the myths of vampires that you seem to still take as fact, but times have changed and now we understand the truth and the lies about a vampires way of life.

    Yes, a vampires diet can seem disgusting at first and will remind you of leeches, their scent can be overwhelmingly awful, and a certain vampire can be the dumbest blond you’ve ever met, but when one of these vampires becomes the love of your life, things like that don’t matter anymore, man!

    Plus, you have to admit, some of those vampire gifts, like seeing the future or hearing people’s thoughts, is pretty fricken sweet!

    So get off your high horse and accept the truth about vampires before you really make a coven mad, especially a coven with werewolf allies.



    I think it’s safe to speak for my vampire family when I say that they did not vote for John McCain because they identified with his white skin and do not run around in the rain and check themselves in the mirror to see if they’ve gotten all the squirrel blood of their mouth.

  14. Kelly L

    Zombies > Vampires.

    And that was by far the strangest thing I have read on here….

    zombies are mindless – and cant even walk let alone fly. I do think you are sorely misguided here mr locke.

  15. Allice Cullen


    In a weird way thank you. Thank you for telling Mr. Wood that vampires are really not that bad. Like you said we really are fricken sweet, we are so the sweetest thing to ever exist.

    Alice Cullen

  16. T.N.C.

    Well, when all you guys get tired of twilight, and you will of course, all of you will be interested in an even better book, The Historian, for all you “vampire” fans out there. So many young, naive and sleeping minds…. ;0) I suggest it’s time to wake up…..

  17. Katherine P. - 5th hour

    Vampires the controversy of there existence, I’m not really sure if I would actually believe the fact of actual living vampires. But I have heard of stories of Vampires that live today in a place called Transylvania, Whether they actually exist I don’t know. All in all I would have to see it to believe it.

  18. Danny Carlson

    I believe that count Dracula was the only real vampire that ever lived. Vampires can’t reproduce, so even if there was vampires, they population would eventually die off. The web site even said that if they bite their prey, they won’t turn into a vampire.

  19. Peter N.

    Zombies are way better than Vampires. Zombies are team players who gang up on you and eat your brains. That to me is much cooler that a single vampire just sucking your blood. Zombies are also not easily killed. Since they have no feeling, you can shoot both of their legs of and they’ll still crawl after you. Zombies cause a slow painful death, whereas, with vampires it is quick and boring. When zombies gang up on you and you are cornered, it is one of the most helpless feelings in the world. ZOMBIES>VAMPIERS!!!

  20. jeff hill 2nd hr

    i agree with kelly and peter about zombies and what was up with that mr.wood put up but i do like the one peter talked about oh well i will never read those books waste of time i’ve got better things to do!

  21. Esme Cullen

    Oh Dear! So much fighting. Let’s remember our manners. : ) But just to set the record straight…
    1) Vampires can reproduce (with humans)
    2) Vampires do not turn into bats or fly
    3) Vampires can survive on ANY blood
    4) Vampires have reflections

    Can’t we all just compromise? I understand that my family is a little different than other covens. We choose not to hurt humans, but instead quench our thirst with animal blood. My wonderful husband Carlisle thought found this out, he’s a perfect example of our kind coexisting with the “real” world.



  22. Alice Cullen

    Nice work mom.

    For the rest of you we will never get tiered of Twilight, and Dracula was not a cool vampire at all. We are by far the coolest vampires.

    Alice Cullen

  23. Rosalie Cullen

    Thank you everyone for standing up for us, it is extremley unfortunate that there are such close minded people in this world. It is quite obvious that you, Mr. Wood, were suprised to hear about our different life style. It is nothing like that of the vampires you have heard of, but that does not make it false. For example, a normal human’s diet usually includes some sort of meat. But with vegatarians, they choose not to eat meat, and gain nutrients from some other source. Does this mean that those people who do not eat meat are not real? Exactly. We gain our strength from the blood of animals, and have learned how to co-exist with your kind.

    This style of living does not come easy though. It can be quite difficult to resist the sweet smell of human blood. You tell my families supporters to watch themselves, because the “REAL” vampires will seek revenge. I tell YOU to watch YOUR back, because the Cullens, the REAL vampires, are keeping tabs on what you have to say on here, and the more me read, the better you smell…

  24. Carlisle Cullen

    Seeing as how I’ve been around a few centuries longer than you have, Mr. Wood, I would consider myself a little more of an “expert” in this field. Trust me; you have been misinformed. Everything you thought you knew about vampires is incorrect. Perhaps you are UNABLE to understand. Don’t worry; it’s not your fault. I’m sure your human brain can’t quite comprehend it all.

  25. Alice Cullen

    Mr. Wood

    Do you feel the knowledge of my father? This shows that some people just don’t have the benefits of brain power that we do, you’re just simple minded. They, like you, don’t want to think that there is any good in vampires, because you don’t believe that your students are intelligent.You don’t think that your students know how we vampires really live. Well, every person out there who has read Twilight are more intelligent then you, especially when it comes to vampires.

    Nice job Rosalie! I didn’t think you had it in you, I sooo excited that I was wrong, you don’t just care about yourself. You really like us all!!!

    Alice Cullen

  26. Jasper Cullen

    Well I’m just going to say what everyone else is saying becasue I was out hunting some grizzly bears up in Canada (notice that its not you I’m hunting) and could not get to the computer fast enough to tell you my thoughts. But I must agree with the rest of my family even that discpicable Jacob Black. We Cullens are different from others like us, we do not (despite popular belief) feed off of humans. If that was so do you honestly beleive that my brother Edward would let Bella live if she tastes that good. Yes we think you smell nice enough to eat BUT… we refrain from doing so because we have good self restraint (me not so much) so if I dont hear that you have given up your prejudices aganist us Cullens then I might accidentally slip on my diet and find you.

  27. Click on my name or copy and paste this address into your address bar, it’s so funny! whether you like twilight or not.

  28. BRV

    While I like Vampires, Zombies win every time. They infect and kill off all of the Vampires food, they attack in large groups, their blood would poison and it is dead and not moving. While Vamps are stronger and some times faster they have to feed and move around at night, well most, the original Vamps, the good Vamps (evil). Those were the only good Vamps, Blade is the only exception. Twilight killed the Vampire…ZOMBIES>VAMPIRES.

  29. BRV

    ……….Dracula 2012, with a Zombie as VP, who is with me?

  30. BRV

    And what I mean by Dracula is the original, not the fruity ones of todays, you all know who I mean. And I would like to thank Mr. Wood for finally showing what a true vampire is, someone is finally showing them and telling them what is fact and what is fiction, and all that history has to offer, not out of a book created in the past couple of years. Count 2012!

  31. Alice Cullen

    Jasper you don’t need to slip on your diet, because you would feel bad in the end. I’ll be “watching” you to make sure you don’t slip. As for everyone one else they can just think what they want, we know the REAL truth.

    Alice Cullen

    Zombies are really dumb. They have nothing to do with our battle against Twilight haters.

  32. Jake S.

    Mr. Wood
    Before this weekend, i absolutely couldn’t stand all of this twilight nonsense. I just couldn’t figure out how people could obsess over it so much. I agreed with you about everything. Well, this weekend my opinion has been changed by me seeing the movie. It was hands down the best movie that I have ever seen in my life. I am now reading the series and will probably reread it several times throughout my life time. I know that I have become what I have been criticizing for so long but I think that I can live with it. As much as it pains me to say it, Rachel and all of the others were right about this book. It’s AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I am going to go now and find something else to complain about because this complaint has been put to death-shredded and burned!

    Jake I’m finally glad you got to go to your first motion picture. Isn’t it neat that they even have sound now.

  33. Rachel Stewart 3rd Hr.


    I AM SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU JAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *jumping up and down and laughing really hard!


    wasn’t the vampire baseball scene THE BEST?!?!

  34. Becca S.

    Mr. Wood

    These books are really good. I can’t believe you are Criticizing books you haven’t read. I didn’t expect that from you. I am reading the series right now and loving every minute of it. I’m sure that you would like them too if you gave them a chance. Even though the vampires in the book aren’t your conventional vampires it’s still a good book.

  35. BRV

    I’m not a Twilight hater, I just prefer the old Vamps and Zombies over the new kinder ones, ones who show emotion, they are weak in comparison to the old Vamps and Zombies, and when we say zombie we mean like the ones in the video Peter put up not the slow moving ones. Count 2012!

    P.S. I like zombies even though it has nothing to do with Twilight, it has to do with the general zombie v.s vamp v.s anything else you want to throw in there.

  36. Courtney


    I’m so proud that you are going to read Twilight. I knew you would like them. Don’t worry about what people say about the books or you reading them, because you are truly cool now. I’m so exciting.


    P.S. Go Twilight!!!!